Affirmations

It is 221 days until I am 60 and Ellie Chickering turned 1 this week!

I haven't blogged lately- I've been busy! Last Tuesday I finished  an 8 week class series called BOLD. That stands for Business Objective: a Life by Design.
Have you ever considered how often we "let" life happen rather than planning and "making" it happen?  What is the purpose of our career/job/business?  It should be to fund the life we want- not the life we LET happen.
The biggest thing I learned at BOLD was to repeat affirmations every day. Wow what a life changing idea.
And no-I am not a "woowoo" person. But it works! Does it really matter if our outlook changes our future because of some "force" in the universe or because we change the way we do things. (I'm not discounting either idea.)
Affirmations can be found online, in books or even from friends who do them. I now have a CD full of them that I listen to when I am in my car. My best suggestion to find an affirmation  is to look at yourself and one of you negative beliefs about yourself, then look for an affirmation changing that belief. Say it to yourself ...I am willing to bet that at first you will hear that little voice in the back of your mind telling you "yeah but..." or a really sarcastic "right". Ignore that voice and continue the affirmation 50 times a day if need be until the voice goes away.
I never considered myself a worrier- but what a big difference in the weight on my shoulders after I started saying the following:
"I let this go- I choose to release worry and judgment and I choose to engage in trust and faith."

Tiger Mom

286 days until I am 60!

I've been reading a lot about the “Tiger Mom” and reaction to her essay, which includes an impassioned defense by a daughter and, unfortunately, death threats to the mother. I am somewhere between the two. I can't help but wonder if tiger mom has considered that refusing to allow detainees to use the bathroom is considered torture. And while I see similarities between “Mommie Dearest” and tiger mom, the big difference is that tiger mom obviously loves her daughters. I suggest that is the reason the daughter defends her mom. Children can get past all the parental mistakes if they know they are loved.

I truly believe this woman is guilty of both physical and mental abuse. The kicker is, that I believe that people who parent to the opposite extreme are also abusive. Giving a child too much freedom teaches them extreme self indulgence. In the real world those kids will find themselves at the bottom of society with no tools to help themselves rise. Every child will strive to meet expectations. Expect nothing and the child will believe he is capable of nothing.

In Georgia, students don't necessarily receive “diplomas” at graduation, they can also receive “certificates of attendance” meaning they showed up but couldn't quite manage to pass the state required tests. My son is ADHD, (one test measured his attention span at 10 seconds) has test anxiety, and a “visual perceptual motor integration deficiency” (what that actually means is that he is better at speaking than writing.) I once told my son that his LD was a brick wall. That he could go over it, under it, around it or through it, but I that expected him to find a way to “finish” on the other side.

When Bennie was getting ready to graduate a teacher asked him “When so many of your peers either quit school or accepted a certificate of attendance, why do you think you hung in there and are getting a diploma?”

The teacher called me to tell me that she had really wanted to understand his motivation so as to work and motivate other students. She laughed when she repeated his answer: “Well, my mom said it was graduate or be buried in the front yard, and I wasn't sure if she was serious or not”.

Expectations-me and tiger mom both have them, I simply chose to use humor rather than humiliation.

The final truth of which of us did better will probably not be easily proved for another 30 or 40 years.

I am certain that if financial success is the only criteria for judgment, that her daughters will probably beat out my son....but Bennie is 32, happily married, self confident, willing to express his own ideas, capable of making his own decisions, and is (in my humble opinion) a fantastic parent.

All in all, tiger mom probably raised exactly the child she wanted-but then-so did I.

398 Forecloure Notices in the Newspaper

I am a real estate agent. Yesterday, the Cherokee Tribune headline read “Year begins with 398 foreclosure notices” (more than last January). I did a little research and a little math-- that works out to 1 foreclosure notice for every 200 homes!  

History shows us that real estate has lead the way out of every depression and recession we have had for the last 100 years. And friends, real estate is leading in the wrong direction!

What makes it worse is that we are no longer looking at foreclosures on loans that were risky to begin with, and more and more people are choosing to walk away!

I am finding that most people really don’t understand the terminology being used. I think most people understand ARMs, and LIBORs but how many know what “shadow inventory” is or what a “strategic foreclosure” means.

First let me explain what “shadow inventory” is: this is the number of homes that are already owned by banks, but not yet on the market, plus the number of homes that are at least 90 days in arrears (stats show that virtually all of these will end up in foreclosure or short sale), plus 95% of those 60 days in arrears plus 70% of those 30 days in arrears.  What this means is that in the coming months, there could easily be another 7 million homes on the market. That’s easily a 3 year supply! The law of supply and demand says that when there is huge supply-prices go down.

I am sure most of you have that eyes glaze over look already. But I truly believe that we can’t change what we don’t understand.

Strategic foreclosure has been around in the business world for many years. It has now moved into the “home market”. A “Strategic foreclosure” is one in which the property owner has the ability to pay, but has decided to walk away.

Let’s say you owe $160,000 on your home. Let’s say values have dropped to the point that your home is now worth $105,000. You can live there and continue to make your payment or you can deposit your payment in savings, and live rent and mortgage free for a year or more until the bank does indeed foreclose. In my neighborhood there is a home that was foreclosed on in November of 2008. The former owners still live there. (This is the only case I know of that the bank has allowed the homeowner to stay so long, but banks do NOT want empty houses open to vandalism.) With a payment that was $1000 per month (I am estimating that very low) they could have saved $26,000. Now they can take that $26,000 and put it down on a similar house-(they will need special financing, but trust me, it can be had) and have a mortgage of $80,000!  In the mean time, that foreclosure has driven the value of all the neighborhood homes to a new low.

I think everyone has heard of loan modifications and short sales. I have to be honest, between Private Mortgage Insurance, and government guarantees and insurance; I believe often banks make more money foreclosing rather than doing loan mods, or short sales. Of course every banker will argue with me on this and ask where my proof is. I don’t have a lot; I can only point to One West. Should my reader want to have his or her blood pressure sky rocket, please google “indimac one west FDIC”. To be fair…read the banks and FDIC’s answers.

I don’t have a fix for this problem. I will say that I am pushing my kids to buy, and if I had the money, I would be buying properties myself.

2010- A year in review.

It has been a wonderful terrible year. I rather think it’s that way every year for most of us.

Ellie was born this year. She is m fifth grandchild. But since Lise-me and her four kids all live in Wisconsin, Ellie is the first grand baby I get to see on a weekly basis. Madi –who is #1 granddaughter, came and spent time with us this summer. She’s much more fun as a teen than any of our kids were….

Ben retired this year- though the jury is still out on whether that is good or bad. Some days I get nothing done!

I discovered microfiber cleaning cloths this year- you can even clean windows with them-no more paper towels!

 I left the Clay Team (real estate) this year. The jury is still out on that too. I have been in the industry for almost 7 years now (I sold real estate I the 1980’s also but left to raise my family) I am now lead agent for the Home Team- so if you know anyone who is looking to buy o sell a property…please give them my number, or give me theirs!

Right now, homes are selling for about 2001 prices in the Atlanta area. I am constantly amazed  at people who think that their house is different so will sell for 2006 prices, and at people who think they will buy a house for 1990 prices.

At my house, the last week of December is usually busy-- Son in law, Josh, has a birthday, as does daughter, Jessica. This year they will get cakes late. Though I believe they got them late last year too. Then it’s News Year’s Eve and New Years Day. I totaled my car this week, but was uninjured….just a few bruises. I decided that it is better to end a year with a crash rather than begin a year with one!

I am resolving that 2011 will be a great year for all of us!

304 days until I am 60

A Christmas Tradition/ Breakfast

I made these one year for Christmas breakfast and somehow it became a tradition. Because they "wilt" in High humidity, I make these Chrismas morning...not Christmas Eve.This recipe makes 16 to 20 cream puffs.

Cream Puffs-

1 cup butter

2 cups boiling water

2 cups sifted flour

½ tsp. salt

8 eggs

Melt the butter in boiling water. Add flour and salt all at once and beat with a spoon until thoroughly integrated. Stir until the mixture forms a ball that doesn’t come apart. Remove from stove and let cool slightly. Add the eggs one at a time beating well with electric mixer. (The only leavening in this recipe is the eggs, so if you don’t beat well with a heavy duty mixer, you will end up with flats not puffs) Drop by heaping tablespoonfuls 3” apart on a greased cookie sheet and bake at 400° for 30 minutes or until golden brown. Remove from oven and “pull” the tops off. Fill when cooled.

(By the time I get the filling made they are usually cool enough to fill)

Cream puff filling -Makes enough for 16-20 cream puffs (if I don’t double the cream puff recipe, I let the kids have the extra.)

3/4 c sugar

3Tlb. Cornstarch

¼ tsp salt

2 c milk

2 slightly beaten egg yolks

2Tlb. butter

1 tsp vanilla

In a sauce pan, blend sugar, cornstarch and salt; slowly add the milk and mix. Cook, stirring constantly over medium heat until it comes to a boil. Cook two more minutes and remove from heat. Stir a little of the hot mixture into the beaten eggs, then stir the egg mixture back into the hot mix. Return to heat and cook 2 more minutes, then add the butter and vanilla. Remove from heat. Spoon into opened cream puffs (about 1Tlb each and replace tops. Sift confectioners’ sugar over finished cream puffs and serve.

These don’t keep well they lose their “crustiness” after only a few hours. I always make then Christmas morning although the kids don’t seem to care when they get soft, they eat them anyway.

Jessica was Blessed

Christmas is almost here! Today I will post my buried cherry cookie recipe. It is Jessica’s favorite, which in turn reminds me of one of m favorite “Jessica” stories…

Jessica was 4 years old, and generally went to the “nursery” when we attended church, but one year we went to Florida for Christmas and attended the midnight service at St Giles Episcopal Church on Christmas Eve.  When we went forward for communion, we had Jessica cross her arms. After Father Mike gave me communion, He touched Jessica’s  head and said “God Bless You”. After arriving back at our seats, Jessica leaned forward to call me, speaking around her father and brother.  Below is the conversation that followed:

“Psst!, Mom!”
“Shusssh, what?”
“I been Blessed!!!”
 “Yes.”
(even louder) “ MOM!”
“What!”
“How long does it last??!”

I know that Father Mike wondered why there was all that laughter in our section. It was years before I could convince Jessica to take communion….She always preferred to be Blessed!

Jessica’s Buried Cherries

½ c butter

1 c. sugar

1 egg

1 ½ tsp vanilla

1 ½ c. flour

½ c. unsweetened cocoa powder

¼ tsp baking soda

¼ tsp baking powder

¼ tsp salt

1-10 oz jar maraschino cherries

1 -6 oz package (1 cup) semi-sweet chocolate chips

½ c. sweetened condensed milk

In a large bowl beat butter until soft, add sugar and beat until fluffy. Add egg and vanilla, beat well. In a second bowl, sift together, flour, baking soda, baking powder, cocoa and salt. Gradually add flour mixture to butter mixture, beat well and shape into 1 inch balls on ungreased cookie sheet. Press down center slightly with your thumb. Drain cherries reserving 4tsp cherry juice. Place a cherry in center of each cookie.

In a small sauce pan, combine chocolate chips and condensed milk and stir constantly on low heat until the chocolate melts. (This can also be done in the microwave).Stir in the 4 tsp of reserved cherry juice. Spoon a scant teaspoon over each cherry, spreading to cover the cherry. Bake in a 350° oven for 10 minutes or until the edges are firm.

PB Fudge and Rickie Elkins

Jessica has a friend from high school who loves this recipe. I always made him a batch when he was home on leave, and mailed him a batch for Christmas when he was stationed in South Dakota.
When he was stationed in Iraq I received an e-mail that said:
Mrs. C,
Love you, send fudge.

I replied:
It is so hot there it will probably arrive melted!

His answer:
That’s OK, I’ll drink it.
I made the fudge, put in double zip lock bags and mailed it off! Here is the recipe:

Never Fail Peanut Butter Fudge -This recipe makes 5 pounds.1 jar (18 oz) peanut butter (crunchy or smooth)
1 jar (7 oz) marshmallow cream
1 stick butter
1 can 12 oz) evaporated milk
5 cups of sugar

In a bowl combine peanut butter and marshmallow cream, stir well, and set aside. “Butter” bottom and sides of 13X9 inch pan.
In a heavy pan on medium heat, combine butter, evaporated milk (NOT sweetened condensed milk) and sugar and bring to boil stirring constantly. Boil exactly 10 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in the peanut butter and marshmallow cream. Pour into pan.

This recipe makes 5 pounds.

On Christmas Traditions

We are just a few days from Christmas and I am done with presents, baking, and sewing. I delivered cookies to past clients yesterday. I am always doing these things Christmas Eve!  How is it that I have it all done? Today is grocery shopping day and I will be working on my database for work but seems like I actually don't have to do everything in emergency mode. Wahoo!

Christmas is a busy time for all of us. Some of us just plain love the season; others use it as an escape. Some of us do both. Some years I jump in to avoid "real" life- the year my mother passed comes to mind. Last year was one of those "love of the season" years.

I’m having a love hate relationship with the holiday this year. Money is tighter than it has been (isn’t that true for most of us in this economy).  But, I decided that the decorations that didn't get put up this year by December 10th weren't going up. That means the snowman toilet seat cover didn't get put on the seat. The sky didn't fall!  I'm wondering if Bryonna would like to have the bathroom decorations…I’m thinking I will make that December 10^th deadline a “new” tradition.

 At our house this year lots of family traditions are changing. That’s what happens when babies come along. I'm ambivalent on this one: I have always awakened my children on Christmas morning around 5 am, and we open the tree, watch a movie, and eat cream puffs for breakfast. This year we have Ellie (and my new great granddaughter in Wisconsin). Ellie doesn’t get up at 5 am for anyone, not even Grandma Chick.  We will have our “tree” at noon this year. I don’t know how many years this new tradition will hold. I expect more babies will come along…and we will have to be flexible on “tree” times.  OK, maybe I am not so ambivalent on this one-I’ve decided that for more babies, I’m very willing to make that change.