Monday, November 29, 2010

Age Is A Relative Thing

337 Days until I am 60.
I think all of us hit an birthday when we feel mortality creeping up on us. For me, it was when I was 32. My sister’s birthday was this last weekend. I am a big practical joker and in the past I had her 30th birthday announced over the loud speaker at a football game. I filled her husband’s truck with balloons on his 40th. I had tee-shirts made for family and friends for Bens 40th and even threw a 365 days ‘til doomsday party complete with cremation box for Ben’s 39th.
Barb will not be at all surprised when I tell a story about her.
We both lived in Florida at the time. For weeks every time I spoke with Barb she sounded down, but always insisted that nothing was wrong. One afternoon in mid October I was on the phone with her when she broke down in tears and hung up on me. I hopped into the car and drove over to her place, worried and scared. On the way, all these horrible thoughts were running through my mind. She had Cancer...She and Bud were getting a divorce….One of the kids had leukemia …
I arrived, I don’t think I even knocked…Just walked in…and demanded to know what was wrong. She burst into tears again….Finally she said “Do you know I’m going to be 25 next month?”
Dumbfounded, all I could say was “What?!”
She repeated “I’m going to be 25 next month-Do you realize that’s a quarter of a century!”
I looked at her, took a deep breath and said. “No Barbara, I’m going to be 25 next month! You’ve going to be 24!
She started with the tears again and answered “You mean I have to go through this again next year?”

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Domain Names

Some time ago I bought a domain name. Being in Real Estate I needed a web site. With the last name Chickering it was obvious that I should play off that. The domain name I bought was www.ChickSellsCherokee.com. (I live and work in Cherokee County Georgia). You are welcome to check it out...and I also have this blog connected to my site (left side-As I Look at 60).
Anyway, I built my web site, I thought it looked good, and I gripped and whined at the other two members of my team (Callie and Donna) to get me their bios and pictures so I could build their sites.(ok, ladies I still don't have them!) A day or so later I received an e-mail from Callie telling me I might want to rethink my domain name. She had googled with www.ChickSellsCherokee.com as her search term. My site came up first. The next nine sites on the page would not have been such a shock had I actually thought about the connotations of search terms like “Chick” and “Sells”. You guessed it...the rest of the sites listed were porn sites. Now isn’t that just what every real estate agent wants?
I promptly began a search of how to change the outcome. I discovered I-google. It is a truly wonderful group of apps. I went to I-google, set up an account using my g-mail address (though I understand you don’t have to have a g-mail account, you can use other email addresses). I completely filled out the profile including my picture. I set I-google as my home page and put apps of games, goals, a countdown tally and several other apps on the page.
Within 24 hours, “google-ing” my domain name brought up every page within my site, not just my home page, and no more porn!
For those with businesses having all your inside pages show up on google is a really good thing! If you have your own website I highly recommend doing what I have done. Several of the people at Keller Williams Canton have already tried it.
I also recommend I-google just as a fun homepage. The countdown app tells me it is 342 days until I am 60.

Monday, November 22, 2010

On Finding an Ancestor

Around the office I am known for my research abilities. Need a piece of information? Ask MB- she can find it!  I tell them all I am the Queen of Google. Actually I am just good at finding search words. Put in enough different search words and you are bound to find the information you are looking for. It is simply a matter of thinking up different search terms…and not giving up.
Since it’s now 344 days until I am sixty I am increasingly curious about my family tree. This last week I decided to do some genealogy research on my maternal grandfather’s family. The oldest information I had was my great grandmother’s name.  That is all I typed into the query box.  “Ida Jane Ritter Brockway Smith”. What a surprise I was in for. Within seconds I had an absolute plethora of information. Within minutes I had pictures of headstones in the family plot, and even an e-mail address of a second cousin once removed! (Her great grandfather and my grandfather were brothers). What lovely emails we have already exchanged. I remember her mother, aunt, and grandparents from my childhood and teen years. I have learned that her great grandfather changed his name in the early 1900’s when he went into vaudeville.
In less than an hour I traced the family back another 2 generations, on that side and 3 generations on my father’s side! What is more I didn’t spend a penny joining any web sites!
Forty years ago, someone on my grandmother’s side worked on a family tree. I know it took several years and she was able to trace back to the early 1600’s but was not able to find exactly how or when that ancestor came to the states, other than that she believed he came over on the “Jonathon”. I went online and in seconds had the ships manifest with his name listed!
Someone in another branch of the family had already done that research for me- and there is an online article that tells about him, his wife and their son!!! OMG this is soooo spiffy!
If you’ve seen those commercials that tell you to “just start” your search and wondered how difficult it really is- give it a try. If you’re one of those who like to surf the net you’re going to LOVE doing this!
Just in case you’re interested in trying it….both www.genealogy.com and www.ancestry.com offer free trial memberships.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Stubborness a Family Trait?

Yesterday my husband had an online conversation with a cousin I haven’t seen since he was a baby. They were talking about my nickname here around the house: “SWMBO” which stands for “She Who Must Be Obeyed”.  Brock (my cousin) suggested that the stubbornness was a “Brockway” trait- that his mother had it and seemed to run strong among her and her sisters. I have to tell Brock…I always thought his mother was the sweet, gentle, reasonable one! Looking back at Grandma B I may have to reassess my opinion.
Grandma had 8 children. Can you imagine the dishes done every day? Grandma hated doing dishes. And Grandpa couldn’t abide dirty dishes setting in the kitchen. In those days it wasn’t about loading the dishwasher or even about turning on the tap and filling the sink. Grandma had a wood stove and huge “dishpans” made of metal in which she could heat water to wash and then rinse. One day she washed, rinsed and dried one “load”, had the rinse pan full and put it back on the stove to reheat the water. Then she filled the wash tub and put it back on the stove. About that time Grandpa walked in…saw two pans of dishes setting there and picked one up. As he threw the pan of dishes out the door into the yard, he stated “If you can’t keep the?%#@ dishes clean then you have too many dishes!” My Grandmother picked up the second pan tossed it out the door saying “If you can throw out the clean I can throw out the dirty!”  It wasn’t his tossing the dishes that got to her…it was that he tossed the ones she’d already washed and left her the ones she hadn’t! Sweet, gentle, reasonable…
I never heard Grandma Brockway raise her voice. I never heard her swear and I don’t believe I ever heard her say no. She too was a sweet, gentle, reasonable woman. Growing up I remember Grandpa saying she voted the way he told her, he believed he literally cast two votes. It was only after his death that she made the statement “When I walked into that booth and that curtain closed, he had no idea who I voted for, and I took pride that my vote often canceled his.” Sweet, gentle, reasonable….
I grew up assuming that the stubborn gene came from our Grandfather Brockway also, only now have I begun to understand it was from our Grandmother --Adelaide Cadmas Brockway…Thereby being a “Cadmas trait.”
The link below is about a wonderful old lady....I am surprised shes not wearing purple with a red hat...When I'm an old woman....don't mess with me

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

The First Thanksgiving (in Georgia)

I met and married Ben in Pinellas County Florida. We moved to Cherokee County Georgia October 30, 1979.  We moved from a huge city to a County of about 50,000. Bennie was three years old. I thought Ben had moved us to the back of beyond. The nearest grocery store was 11 miles, the nearest McDonalds- even farther and we would need to go clear to Marietta to find a real restaurant that was open on Sunday. We were now hundreds of miles from family.
When we were growing up, Thanksgiving was a family affair. The table stretched from the kitchen through the dining room and into the living room. One year we set up in the basement…the only space large enough. My mother insisted on all of us setting at one table and some years it was a logistical nightmare to get all the “tables” set up together. I do not remember a dinner table set for less than 25 and I remember one year that the table was set for more than 40. (As an aside…why were Barb and I the only ones who ever did the dishes?)
But I digress…this story is about our first thanksgiving after moving to Georgia. We just could not afford to go home so soon after moving, and we were certainly going home for Christmas! So I set about making plans for our dinner. Today, people call me a great cook…and I started cooking young but let’s face it, 30 years ago I certainly wasn’t the knowledgeable cook I am now. Ben liked mince and I liked pumpkin so I made two pies…I knew it was too much, but that’s ok, who doesn’t like leftover dessert?  When I went grocery shopping that turkey looked a little small…so I picked up a slightly larger one-who doesn’t like leftover turkey?
Thanksgiving Day dawned early (5 am) and I stuffed the turkey and put it in the oven. Peeled potatoes- a pound per person sounds about right- peeled the butternut squash and put it on low to cook. Waldorf salad, banana bread (a double batch like my mother always made). Cauliflower with cheese sauce! I will say that everything was nicely cooked….neither the potatoes nor the gravy were lumpy….
Ben, 3 year old Bennie, and I set down to dinner….and looked upon the lovely TWENTY-THREE pound turkey.  Just in case you’re interested that works out to 7 and 2/3 pounds of turkey for each of us, a true mountain of mashed potatoes, squash, veggies, and 2/3 of a pie for each of us. We had lots of leftovers.
We headed home to Florida a month later for Christmas, on the drive down I told Ben “I HOPE THEY MAKE HAM!”
This Year we will have Ellies first Thanksgiving!

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Mother of the Bride

359 days until I am 60!
I didn't blog for two days! Life goes on, and sometimes it gets busy. I spent 9 hours yesterday showing log cabins in the north Georgia mountains. I have to say, if you can buy a home or a second home or a rental house...do it NOW! Some of the buys I'm seeing are unbelievable! 6 bedrooms 3.5 baths, 3 fireplaces, 2 kitchens for 270K! OMG! Ben would have hated it tho...no yard work- it's all woods.

Tomorrow is Jessica and Josh'es 2nd anniversary. Wow that 2 years went fast! I would not wish Mother of the Bride on my worst enemy!
Jessica is CDO, in case you don't know what that is....she's so OCD that it must be in alphabetical order. Jessica took over doing her own laundry when she was 11. She says it was because it shouldn't be my job....she doesn't fool me, she took it over because she didn't like the way I folded her t-shirts. Her DVDs are in order and she can walk into the room and know which one has been borrowed from 20 feet away! She has an alarm set on her phone to call her dad every evening at 7 pm to check on his blood sugar levels (ok, I find that one funny).
So Jessica and I start planning her wedding...(first off she ONLY GAVE ME 9 MONTHS TO PLAN)
You have seen those brides on TV who drive their poor mothers crazy? That was how I have pictured Jessia-I assumed she would be Bridzilla, driving her poor mother crazy with her lists and demands.  So we go to look at dresses...she tries 2 on....her dress is chosen, ok, neat, that was easy. We hit the fabric store and she lets her girls and I pick out the bridesmaids dress patterns and materials. wow that was easy!  Everything I suggested she went along with!!!!! Who is this kid!!!! OMG a pod person!!!! She went along with my venue suggestion, food suggestions, invitation suggestion. We hired the very first photographer we spoke with!
Then she called me "Momzilla"- and suggested prozac! All I have to say about that is that if she'd been Bridzilla as I expected I wouldn't have had to have been "Momzilla". Below is a picture of Jessica, Josh and Ben.


Thursday, November 4, 2010

On Keeping House

I ran a maid service while my kids were growing up. It gave me a decent income and the ability to name my own hours. It also gave me the ability to fire a boss if I didn't like them. Going back to work for someone else was interesting, I'll tell ya
It is surprising how few young people today know how to clean a house. I had one young client (a CPA) tell me her vacuum had been broke for two years. When I looked at it, the belt was broke and needed replaced. She wasn't the only person I came across who was clueless about housekeeping. In the last generation or so, most mothers went to work and either cleaned quickly on the weekends or hired it done. What's more, every one of these women believe they are lousy housekeepers and have a much dirtier house than their grandmothers had! Let's look at these two ideas.

First, why are the women lousy housekeepers? Do they live alone? Did they make the mess all by themselves? I admit I fight this one too. When I walk into a house that needs de-cluttered, or just plain needs a good cleaning- my first thought is “this woman is a slob”. I don't look at her husband, or her 13 or 15 year-old. Do I think she sets on the couch all day eating bon-bons? She's expected to work all day then come home, cook dinner, do laundry and clean house? I don't know about anyone else but I don't remember signing on to be Dobby- the house elf. I swear next time I walk into one of “those” homes I will say to myself “this family needs to get off their butts”. Ok... I will try to remember to say that to myself.

Second point: Grandma's house was cleaner....Get a CLUE! One of my grandmothers had no indoor bathroom, let alone a vacuum. Rugs were taken out just twice a year and beaten until they were relatively clean. Most of us vacuum once a week or so, lets see.....which is better...weekly or bi-annual cleaning?

Remember “spring cleaning”? Why don't we do that anymore? Well duh.....I don't know about you but I don't  have a coal furnace depositing coal ash on my walls all winter! I no longer need to wash my walls when winter is over! My dishwasher not only saves time but leaves sanitized dishes for fewer colds. For me, the cheese cloth behind my vents even means less dust...(thats my cleaning tip for the day) Are we nuts? Some doctors are actually saying we clean too much and are growing super germs in retaliation! We really need to cut ourselves some slack.

Now I have to go polish the pull chain on the ceiling fan.
362 days to 60!!!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

On Womens Lib:

Just, In case you don’t know – I am just a wee bit political! I thought today I’d post on one of the things that made me so rabid in my political beliefs (there were several).
Free black men could vote in the northern states from the time of the constitution. In the south the XV Amendment to the Constitution gave black men the right to vote in 1870.  Women in the United States waited another 50 years for the same right. I guess almost everyone knows that, but those are just facts. It amazes me that I have lived long enough to see an era when many young women don’t understand what the big deal is. When we hear about the women’s liberation movement, we hear about “bra burners”. Our young women truly don’t understand what those “libbers” accomplished and what they did not.
We hear this idealized version of the 1950s where mom stayed home and cooked dinner every night. What about the moms who had no choice but to work? Maybe a story from real life might explain it better.
When I was growing up, mine was the only mother I knew who worked outside the house. Eventually, mom owned her own business, (probably because it was the only job she could get that would pay enough to raise her family). When my mother was widowed in 1958 she went hunting for a job- got one too- at “W. T. Grants” a national chain store. Within the year her boss made her assistant manager of the store and sent paperwork to the home office to get her the corresponding title and the pay. Word came back that she couldn’t be assistant manager as that job was for men only. Even more insulting, the store manager was told that she could do the job, they would even “allow” her to have the title, but since she was a woman, she could never be “allowed” to make the same money as men who were the head of households. No to worry! We have made progress! Women now only make an average of $206. a week less than men do.
Oh, by the way--- W.T. Grant Co.? They went bankrupt in 1976—awe---gee---too bad
Just 364 days until I am 60! WooHoo

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

On saying ”I love you”
Today is my birthday. My 59th. The beginning of my 6oth year. OMG! How'd that happen? Most days I feel as if I'm 30, occasionally I feel 35, and once or twice this last year I have felt every moment of my age. This next year I will certainly tell you when that happens.
This blog is going to be something of a journal of my 60th year. I make no promises on this, I may write two or three blogs and quit or I might actually make it the entire year (yea, right). I have subjects for three more blogs but then we all know how I love to talk.
As you all know I am in real estate. (I am assuming that no one but people who know me will actually see and read this blog) I will try not to blog too much about that...unless something happens that upsets me, then all bets are off.
I have now seen a birthday that neither of my parents did. My father died at 36 with a coronary, my mother at 58 from complications of COPD. How's that for a family health history, huh? Luckily, we live in a time when we can live to well over a hundred. I figure I am good for another twenty-five to thirty years,but hey- if God calls....well, just in case I don't see eighty-five, I will continue to enjoy every day and do it the way I want!
If I could give one piece of advice-after 59 whole years on this Earth it would be to say “I love you”. Yea- yea, you've heard it before, but think about this: If you died suddenly today, what would be the last thing your husband or children will remember you saying? My kids, my husband, my sister, brother, nieces, nephews, and closest friends will all remember “I love you” as my last words. I admit, I have made it a habit-but I developed that habit on purpose. (Oh wow! Not all my habits are bad!) My children and I have even had a discussion about why it's my habit. They already know that I want that to be what they remember of me. If they actually read this, I guess now my family and friends know too.
One last thing- it is election day! Instead of saying Happy Birthday to me, tell me you voted!